You're right, I'm NOT about that life…

Category Archives: Struggle stories

If this wasn’t captured on film I’d never believe it myself, or at least not the ferocity of it!

At last week’s Met Ball, the annual ball which formally marks the New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art’s yearly Costume Institute exhibit, it appears from a leaked video doing the rounds on-line that Solange Knowles (a fav here at #BIOTB) flipped out on none other than her famous brother-in-law JayZ!

I doubt we’ll ever get to hear what the incident was about any time soon but from the footage it’s clear that Solo damn near lost it in that lift.

It’s never a great (nor bougie) look to have to be held back by security whilst kicking and punching, but when the person you’re trying to attack is your older sister’s husband (??) and in her presence!! Maaannnn that has all manner of ‘levels’ to it…

*pauses to sip tea*

Anyhoooo here’s the footage…

What would you have done if you were Bey?

What could Jay have done to make Solo so loco??

Is it just me or does Beyoncé’s response or LACK THEREOF seem a bit off considering what’s going on???

#IGotQuestions #WhoHasAnswers??
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below… Oh and keep it #bougie 😉

UPDATE:

Uncut footage from the lift:


I love to see women doing their thing and leading from the front! After the furore over the loss of London’s main black music radio Choice FM I’m glad to see that aside from the inevitable complaints and loud sighs someone has gone out there and done something to fill the gap Choice FM left behind. Well done Jennifer;
Sidenote: Me and Jennifer are from the same stables so I’m giving extra love for this!!
#BeyondBougie xox

UPDATED

So apparently this press release was an “April fools” prank *blank stare*

Can anyone enlighten me as to the point of this particular prank? I thought April Fools Day jokes were supposed to be funny or humorous?? If anyone can tell me the point of this particular one I’d love to hear about it….until then *Kanye shrug*

Let me know when to laugh...I'll wait...

Let me know when to laugh…I’ll wait…

-_____-

MAD NEWS UK

Bang Radio Founder/CEO Jennifer Ogole Bang Radio Founder/CEO Jennifer Ogole

Founder and CEO of BANG Radio, Jennifer Ogole, officially launches Riddim Radio on 103.6 FM across London, and online via www.weareriddim.com, becoming the first legal reggae and dancehall music station in the capital.

April marks what would have been BANG Radio’s 5th birthday, yet with the saturation of urban music in the British market, the team behind the community station brand have been working on bringing Caribbean sister station Riddim Radio to the UK.

Jennifer Ogole confirms:

“We are proud to announce a change in what was BANG Radio’s licence. We have been granted permission by Ofcom to amend our remit and champion reggae and dancehall from our home in Harlesden, North West London, finally shining a light on and representing a worldwide culture which has been gradually disappearing from British radio and deserves to have its own media platform in the UK.”

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Who can pass on my b*tch-slap to #RobTheKnob Rob Kardashian for me? Someone? Anyone?? *looks around*

There has to be something seriously wrong in the world, nay the universe when a “man” takes to his nearly 4-million following Twitter page to publicly disparage, and COMPLETELY disgrace his ex-girlfriend in the way this loser of ginormous proportions (that would be Rob Kardashian) did today.

I don’t know what took over Rob Kardashian’s mind when he took to tweeting the following:

Rob

But what followed next was a real time illustration of the mean side of pop culture commentary and the intersection between male celebrity dicta and the misogynistic contemptuous view many are only too keen demonstrate they hold towards women and in particular female celebrities.

Whilst Rob pondered just how many men Rita may choose to sleep with now they were officially over and with no response whatsoever from Rita and an all but pointless chiding from his big sister Khloe, ‘Rita Whora’ became a trending topic in the Twittersphere.

Yep that’s right, because Rob-presumed scorned-Kardashian says Rita was a cheater and added an apparently arbitrary man count to the comment, suddenly thousands of ‘sheeple’ without a moments hesitation label her a whore. A whore? Let me get this straight…a whore?

Wait, am I missing something here? What in the sexual judgement f*ckery…??? *catches self* Please excuse me….but for real have people now become reality TV Zombies who are so far under the spell of these so-called “celebrities” and so far up their asses that at the mere drop of a tweet thousands of ‘sheeple’ are willing to go HAM on the reputation of 22 year old girl/young woman without so much as a moments reflection, question, discussion?

I have so many problems with this I hardly know where to begin. Do I start by pointing out the obvious, that being the freedom Rita Ora has to decide what she does with her body? Which means that if she wanted to chop/screw/sleep with 20,000 men in whatever space of time that she may manage that is completely no-one’s business but her own; who are we to  label it?

Or do I start by asking what part of Rob’s ‘revelation’, were it even true, actually makes Rita a “whore” rather than say a young woman finding or indeed losing herself sexually, or a young woman who finds herself “looking for ‘love’ in all the wrong places”, or even just a young woman discovering what her own personal sexual rules and regulations are?

Whatever the case may be, the ‘Rita Whora’ Twitter episode was majorly disappointing to me because it seems to confirm that we still live in an age where if a woman’s sexual activities fall outside of the bounds of somebody else’s (usually a man’s) standards of acceptable sexual behaviour she’ll almost routinely be labelled with some (sexually) derogatory name; more fool me for expecting that this new-fangled platform of Twitter would be a place where such old-fashioned thinking would lose its currency.

Let me know when we can start to do better…

Thoughts? Let me know below.


The following is a true story…

One day I was using my phone, a Blackberry 9900 – Bold was her name. She was good at what she did, I liked her. I went to sleep that day and woke up the next. As was usual when I awoke I reached for my Bold, I wanted to find out how her night had been, what news she had for me, whether she was thirsty and needed some juice? When I found her she was off.This was unusual to me; since the very first day I got her and had switched her on I’d never again seen her off…lifeless. There was no red light and not even the neglectful signs of the green (I’m running really low) light. Without a moment’s hesitation I placed her on the charger and I’m sure I let out an only just audible sigh when the red light appeared…my day could now commence.

I showered, moisturised and ate but after that the urge was too much I needed to find out what was good in my [Bougie Chick] world, there were shops sites and blogs to trawl on the way in to work but for now had anyone pinged or called me during the night, who was up for cocktails after work, did I mention it was a Friday, that at least had to be announce on my BBM status?

I reached for Bold and pressed a button, any button, I can’t remember which, it’s not important, I knew what was supposed to happen, screen lights, action!

 

Nothing…

 

I would be lying if I said my heart rate didn’t increase ever so slightly at that point…to say it did would also be a lie, in truth my heart was by now pounding loudly in my chest. WTFIGO???

For all you non “strugglephone” users (**I can’t even remember who on Twitter coined the term “Strugglephone” but as soon as I read it, its absolute aptness struck me**) you may be wondering why the dramatic response to this seemingly trivial occurrence but you see that thought right there is what sets you apart from us, us being the Strugglephone users, #TeamBlackBerry, the remaining staunch (stupid??) supporters of RIM and the constant struggle that is the lifespan of the modern day Blackberry. Any surviving member of #TeamBlackBerry will tell you that the first signs of trouble with any BlackBerry and the death of said BlackBerry are very often one and the same occurrence. Any change in your BlackBerry’s behavioural habits in my (now solidified) experience usually means one thing: the end is near.

She had been flickering and freezing up lately, why had I not… I almost immediately tried to recollect the last time I had backed her up. (1)

I pressed the power button, heart racing, palms sweaty (I wish I was exaggerating), the blank screen persisted.

Dark blank screen. Cold, dark, blank screen…

The familiar “Strugglephone” cry

She was gone. I knew that in that very moment of blank screened persistence. I nearly cried a little before I went to a drawer to fish out the spare Nokia that I kept for emergencies such as this. When I opened the drawer I saw the ever obedient Nokia, poised, waiting for her chance to one again show me that although she was no longer the phone de jour she was reliable, she did what her makers said she would.

I could tell you here how if I had looked a bit deeper into that drawer there also lay another Berry, this one a Curve; the story of her gentle demise is a story for another day, another post *dabs eyes* maybe.

As for my Bold, my little Black-baby-Berry as she had been fondly known, my worst fears were later confirmed, for her the struggle was over. (For me days of real struggle, not least of the social kind, then ensued with the Nokia).

Baby-Berry went off to that phone heaven in the sky…and then one day, eventually, after an exhausting few days trying to remember how to do more than call on the damn Nokia my service provider sent me a new Baby. Same model, same features, same feel…and since an unfortunate incident involving a splash of vodka at the weekend, SAME PROBLEMS!!!

*Drops to knees and wails* Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

How’s a chick like me supposed to survive this phone struggle-age?

*Walks away humming ‘We Shall Overcome’*

(1) **note to anyone that cares: I soon recalled I had never actually backed her up…several irreplaceable contacts were lost forever**

What’s your #strugglephone story?


This just goes to show you can make a catchy tune out of anything!

Now not only did Ms Brown suffer the fear of waking to find her apartment block was on fire (“Oh Lord Jesus it’s a fire”) and suffer the indignity of being caught in her headscarf on live TV, but now this musical ditty?… This is so funny wrong  *cough*

This lady has Bronchitis!! Somebody go get her a cold pop…

(I defy any of you not to be humming this after a few listens!)

Post script: What the heck does it say about her neighbourhood when her first thought after smelling smoke was that one of her neighbours was barbeque-ing… indoors… in the middle of the night?!  *blinks*

#WhereTheyDoThatAt??  o_O

P.s. here’s the original interview

 



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